The last 11 days have been nonstop family time. And while I’m totally exhausted from the non-stop-ed-ness of it, the planning and the packing and trying to keep them occupied in airports and restaurants, there’s something lovely and special about the self-contained capsule of vacation together time. I loved looking over on our flight the other day and there we all were, four of us clumped into three seats, all looking at some kind of screen, gobbling snacks. I love turning around from mission control (shotgun) in our car and seeing the two of them sleeping with abandon in their car seats, cozy with their blankets. The feeling of seeing all my lovies confined to ten square feet of space somehow warms me – like we’re as present as we can be in this adventure, barreling into space together.
So it’s pretty sweet. However. After the unnecessarily stressful and busy build up of the Hanukkah/Christmas/New Years season, 11 days without our beloved babysitter, and almost two weeks of the smaller kid waking up every night several times, its nice to be back to a moment where I can just sit quietly and collect my thoughts and write some things down and maybe take a walk without worrying that I have to get back to relieve my husband as he watches both kiddies.
I do like the special times but much prefer the regular days, routine, and doing what we always do. I like the normal.
And now, onto the new. New year. New goals. New anxieties. So how to calm the constant adrenaline and the need I have to be always be moving and doing? How to balance wanting MORE, being better, thinking big with being content and feeling lucky? I’d say my biggest challenge is how to find the joy and not see the stress. So I’ll be working on that. If you have ideas about how I can chill the f$#k out, do let me know.
