as Blogger

undirected ruminations

i once was a girl

I haven’t been mistaken for a girl in a while. People trying to get my attention who don’t know me call me ma’am, lady, miss, or hey you tired looking female person. I’m no girl, and most days I’m good with that. But I very much cherish the show “Girls.” I think it’s moving and [...]

friends with kids

Have you seen this movie yet? Jon Hamm and his sexy ass frat guy hotness? Awww yeah. What? Erm. Sorry. Ok, yes. So this movie “Friends With Kids” takes place partially in a Brooklyn village neighboring mine and contains verbatim conversations I’ve overheard from my colleagues, the Brooklyn parent people. The supporting characters are exaggerated [...]

fun on a stick

Nothing says sexy like a man and wife holding black leather satchels and twin Muji umbrellas, walking into a Toyota dealer to test drive a Prius wagon. It’s like the opening to an urban legend told round the fireplace where the couple gets kidnapped, or the beginning of an embarrassing joke your uncle tells at [...]

we are all the same

The other day we were all at this kiddie enrichment place. Z takes ballet there and they have free “open play” in their beautiful gym facility, which we try and take advantage of in order to justify the silly money we pay for classes there. That means getting online weeks in advance to reserve spots [...]

s.w.a.k.

My whole life I’ve been prone to emotional triggers brought on by songs, smells, textures, and tastes, so it’s no surprise I’ve folded these tendencies into my relationship with my kids and my own memories of childhood. I’ve written some about the overwhelming nostalgia bath I’ve been taking since Zoe started kindergarden this fall. It’s [...]

happy + sappy = saphappy

Last week something unexpected occurred. I woke up every morning in a perfectly calibrated emotional state: energized, calm, grateful, and content. The realization of which led to something I’d describe as elation. WTF is that about? It took me by surprise. My go-to mindset since having Miles 19 months ago has been one of desperate [...]

sh*t brooklyn moms say


something i wrote and produced based on the silly sh*t i hear.

via Mommyish

Our Babysitter Got Tuberculosis

Who even gets tuberculosis any more, besides characters in Emily Bronte novels? Apparently, babysitters who spend the majority of their day breathing all over my kid. That’s who. It was January of 2009 and Tenzin was sick with that flu everyone seemed to have. She had missed a few days of work, and had a startling cough of the [...]

Mommy Wars : Humorless Parents Are The Worst Kind

I remember going on preschool tours for my daughter and watching some parents jotting down notes and asking earnest questions about educational philosophy and why they should choose XYZ Brooklyn Private Preschool over other expensive and coveted XYZ Brooklyn Private Preschool. And the conversation then devolving into this: will there be people helping to wipe [...]

9/11 Make Me Feel Vulnerable As A Mom

My daughter started kindergarten this past week, but its me that’s gone back to school, and it’s 1977. I watched Z. get ready for her first day, clutching her new purple quilted pencil case, and it shocked me how the memories flooded in. Suddenly, I’m four going on five, getting ready for my end of [...]

Happiness Means Living in the Moment…And Having An Awesome Babysitter

I’m a parent of two young kids. I love my life and am grateful for my blessings, but I wouldn’t describe myself as euphorically happy all the time. I laugh and I have genuine joy, sure, but I’m often impatient with my kids and husband, and downright grumpy and frustrated with time management and not [...]

Who Needs A Backyard? A City Girl Speaks Out

We live happily in the city – Brooklyn, to be exact – but whenever we head out of town into the great expanse of lawns, big-ass grills, backyards and double garages connected to the house (!), my husband and I get disoriented by our attraction to suburban life. We start doing calculations to justify our [...]

Welcome To Mommy Land. Control Freaks, Stay Out!

Now that I’m deep in mommy land, I don’t often think about my pregnancies. When I see someone in their ninth month in August, still commuting to work, I’m glad I’m not them. All those weird pains and the no drinking and worrying about mercury in fish and the baby’s body parts. Now I can’t [...]

Feeling Confident? Don’t Get Excited, It Won’t Last

Life with kids can be like the opening credits to Sex and the City. You’re walking along, feeling sassy because you finally overcame some hurdle and made it through a difficult parenting life lesson, when all of a sudden you get splashed by sludge from a bus. Oddly, that image of Carrie Bradshaw getting hosed [...]

Get to Our Game

Put on a Top Hat and Forget Your Troubles

From Get To Our Game RHONY Episode 14 Recap Frankly people, I can’t be bothered to watch this episode a second time in order to write a pithy recap. My normal “process” is to watch the show once through and then again to take notes so I can maybe I can make myself laugh through [...]

RHONY Episode 13 Recap: Cyber Bullies and the Women Who Love Them

More parties! Not to be outdone by her daughter’s blowout last episode, Ramona decides to throw a soiree for herself. She brings Kelly and Alex into some kind of space age looking party space with swings and shag carpeting, with yet another event planner. I guess Ramona didn’t like the last two she used for [...]

RHONY Episode 12 Recap : Party Like It’s Pre-2008

By Sheer Elegance, GTOG Special Guest Blogger OMG Event planning! Ramona Avery and LuAnn Victoria are both turning sixteen and are planning Super Sweet Sixteen parties. “Man, you definitely look like you’re more than sixteen,” says Anthony, LuAnn’s creepy event planner. Avery is bitchy. “Mom, it’s not your party! I need 10, 000 square feet. [...]

RHONY Episode 11 Recap: Debt, Judgments, and a Little Lovemaking

By Sheer Elegance, GTOG Special Guest Blogger Back in New York, and the women have missed their mens! Ramona is at a fancy hotel, pouring a hearty glass of Peens Greegs and getting in the mood. You might remember that she’s a businesswoman, so she has to find time for intimacy with Mario. Brightly lit, [...]

RHONY Episode 10 Recap: Ya Habibi B#%ch

By Sheer Elegance, GTOG Special Guest Blogger Truth be told: I thought this was not only the end of Morocco but the end of the series. And I was not unexcited to be getting to the end. These housewives are making me weary. These pretzels are making me thirsty. But upon actual viewing, this episode [...]

RHONY Episode 9 Recap: It’s Not About You

By Sheer Elegance, GTOG Special Guest Blogger Tonight the girls had glimmers of being normal and kind of fun to hang out with, possibly because they got out of the luxurious riad and got to do more touristy Morocco stuff. Like visit a souk and not get robbed, get rubbed down at a hamam, stepped [...]

RHONY Episode 8 Recap: Snakes on a Plane

By Sheer Elegance, GTOG Special Guest Blogger Did you know that “Ya Habibi” means darling in Arabic? Damn it, LuAnn is gonna make “darling” happen. She is very present in this episode, as Morocco is her trip and gift to the ladies. The markets, the dessert, the spices, it’s her pleasure. The Brunettes go first [...]